Plain Language: Improving Communications from the Federal Government to the Public


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Examples> Before–and–After Comparisons > Reduce Wordiness

Wordiness Made Spare

Here are some examples of how using plain language can help you say what you mean without extra word clutter:

EXAMPLE 1

Before
If the location of the land is in a state other than the state in which the tribe’s reservation is located, the tribe’s justification of anticipated benefits from the acquisition will be subject to greater scrutiny.

After
If the land is in a different State than the tribe's reservation, we will scrutinize the tribe's justification of anticipated benefits more thoroughly.

EXAMPLE 2

Before
When the process of freeing a vehicle that has been stuck results in ruts or holes, the operator will fill the rut or hole created by such activity before removing the vehicle from the immediate area.

After

If you make a hole while freeing a stuck vehicle, you must fill the hole before you drive away.

EXAMPLE 3

Before
Under 25 CFR §1.4(b), the Secretary of the Interior may in specific cases or in specific geographic areas, adopt or make applicable to off-reservation Indian lands all or any part of such laws, ordinances, codes, resolutions, rules or other regulations of the State and political subdivisions in which the land is located as the Secretary shall determine to be in the best interest of the Indian owner or owners in achieving the highest and best use of such property.

After
Section 1.4(b) of 25 CFR allows us to make State or local laws or regulations apply to your off-reservation lands. We will do this only if we find that it will help you to achieve the highest and best use of your lands.


Making material into a list

Before
Sections 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to Indian probate proceedings, heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985, and other proceedings under subpart D of this part, except that §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do apply to cases referred to an administrative law judge pursuant to § 4.337(a)

After
Unless a case is referred to an administrative law judge under § 4.337(a), §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to:

  1. Indian probate proceedings;
  2. Heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985; and
  3. Other proceedings under subpart D of this part.

Before
If a deponent fails to answer a question propounded, or a party upon whom a request is made under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served fails to adequately respond or objects to the request, or any part thereof, or fails to permit inspection as requested, the discovering party may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection in accordance with the request.

After
You may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection if:

  1. A deponent fails to answer a question;
  2. A party upon whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom you served interrogatories either does not adequately respond or objects to the request; or
  3. A party on whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served does not permit inspection as requested.
 
Other Pages:
Plain–Language Examples

Before–and–After Comparisons

Government Examples

Legal Examples

Award–Winners

Humor

 
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